Thursday, February 17, 2011

Regret nothing and learn from everything however, I wish in moments of shear confusion of what I’m doing and what I am suppose to do. I am given a card, and on that card I would write down everything I am trying to wrap my head around at that moment; the thought of being known, of being wanted, of wanting the list could go on. If only you were to understand what goes through our heads in moments like that, if only you were to know this, would it change things...the answer is no, for we are told that things happen for a reason. I, myself, say that very thing, that you look at the here and now and only have the ability and the knowledge to affect the present and the future. Their are two sides of this coin, on one side there is the cold shoulder, “I don’t let anything bother me” “furthermore I don’t let anyone even come close to knowing who I am” this bothers me. I have these moments after trust has failed me but if the untrustworthy actions of people form your way of living you are putting too much weight on their opinions. There is wanting to be liked by all and there is not knowing who you are without the people around you. It is this ability that you have gained only by the past and without said past you would not be the person you are in the here and now(the present). Oh, and The other side, well the other side is for you to create.

Throw the baggage to the street, you don’t need it. You can find everything you need around the corner. Just cause you don't know what the streets ahead hold for you doesn't mean they will let you down. No sense in having to carry it all around when it just makes you less likely to jump when you need to. I assure you their is something to jump for, for all of us.

Why is it that when you are around specific people you can’t be the person you are around everyone else. Why is it that it’s seen as you having insecurity when you don’t know how to react in a normal fashion around the one who makes everything slow down around you. Seen as insecure when all you are trying to remember to do is put one fool in front of the other in a semi normal manner.

“I Know how you feel” is a complex statement that only you can fully understand. No matter how well you pre-articulate your thoughts in that head of yours it always comes out as if it was run over by both a wheat combine and an asphalt compactor until the little bits of what you wanted to tell the person blew away with the wind that came from the west.

No matter what after all the hurt, pain, love, and joy the only person at the end of the day that you will be is you.

Things I have been thinking about.

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