Thursday, February 17, 2011

Regret nothing and learn from everything however, I wish in moments of shear confusion of what I’m doing and what I am suppose to do. I am given a card, and on that card I would write down everything I am trying to wrap my head around at that moment; the thought of being known, of being wanted, of wanting the list could go on. If only you were to understand what goes through our heads in moments like that, if only you were to know this, would it change things...the answer is no, for we are told that things happen for a reason. I, myself, say that very thing, that you look at the here and now and only have the ability and the knowledge to affect the present and the future. Their are two sides of this coin, on one side there is the cold shoulder, “I don’t let anything bother me” “furthermore I don’t let anyone even come close to knowing who I am” this bothers me. I have these moments after trust has failed me but if the untrustworthy actions of people form your way of living you are putting too much weight on their opinions. There is wanting to be liked by all and there is not knowing who you are without the people around you. It is this ability that you have gained only by the past and without said past you would not be the person you are in the here and now(the present). Oh, and The other side, well the other side is for you to create.

Throw the baggage to the street, you don’t need it. You can find everything you need around the corner. Just cause you don't know what the streets ahead hold for you doesn't mean they will let you down. No sense in having to carry it all around when it just makes you less likely to jump when you need to. I assure you their is something to jump for, for all of us.

Why is it that when you are around specific people you can’t be the person you are around everyone else. Why is it that it’s seen as you having insecurity when you don’t know how to react in a normal fashion around the one who makes everything slow down around you. Seen as insecure when all you are trying to remember to do is put one fool in front of the other in a semi normal manner.

“I Know how you feel” is a complex statement that only you can fully understand. No matter how well you pre-articulate your thoughts in that head of yours it always comes out as if it was run over by both a wheat combine and an asphalt compactor until the little bits of what you wanted to tell the person blew away with the wind that came from the west.

No matter what after all the hurt, pain, love, and joy the only person at the end of the day that you will be is you.

Things I have been thinking about.

Friday, January 21, 2011

It has been one year to the day and it feels only the other day you where giving me a kiss on the cheek as I reluctantly stood there and you said you loved me and that God had great things in store for my life. And that you would always be there for me when I needed you. You and my mom didn't always see eye to eye but I know she loved you more then you could ever imagine. So did I Grammie.
I know I will see you again soon. Until then Hope you are enjoying it up there walkin on the streets sipping on a hot tottie.
I love you.
I miss you.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Live for today yet be prepared for tomorrow.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Live to Bless

Live to bless.

In church this morning my pastor was teaching us about our mission in life, the one true reason for existing. To have a Missional Life means to be SENT, sent by Him. He said that incarnation and mission go hand in hand in order to have the mission we are sent to do we needed incarnation, which tells us to be mindful of our tone. Just as Jesus called out the men attempting to stone the adulterer, telling “him who is without sin cast the first stone”(John:8) we need to first look at our selves. I catch myself to often saying and not doing.

This is my proclamation to change that in my life.

Saturday, January 1, 2011


"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes."
-Charles R. Swindoll

Powerful words that I intend to attempt to live up to in the days to follow.
So often do we get overwhelmed with the things we have zero control over. Do only what we can do and give the rest up to Him.

New year, new adventures, new chances to do what we are called to do, new opportunities, new friends, new interests, new decisions, new mistakes, new stumbling blocks, new loves, new hates, new feelings, new heartaches, new memories, new achievements, new beginnings, new ends, new. The future holds all these things and then some, the past is in the past. Sounds like a pretty great moment I will not be planing on missing out on!

So far, I have started this year off with a daring yet exciting beginning... who will know what's next!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I am back, and better then ever. Version 3.5.9
and I am ready for what God has written for me in the pages of my life.
This is all for now, but be ready for what is to come.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My heart weeps.
And there are no words phrases verses or otherwise to describe.